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Tuesday 1 February 2011

Missing an old friend

I need to write this blog post whilst my dream from last night is fresh in my mind.

I saw an old friend in my sleeping life last night. It may be the first time I have dreamt of this person from my way distant past at college so I wonder if it has any significance.

This person was the best male friend I ever had. He liked my good bits and would sit through my bad bits. He would tell me when I was being "obnoxious" but not leave me and stay in my room till my dozy head talked itself out of my black mood.

When I was shy, he would turn up time and time again. I had no idea why and was very suspicious. One magical day, he visited bringing Hob-Nobs with him and spying the biscuits, I let him in and we talked for hours.

I even heard he once negotiated to get me an invitation to a party to which I was not invited.

He had many interests including music. I was only interested in the Eighties music so I did not appreciate as I should have (and would now) the jazz and other genres he tried to introduce me to.

I remember him panicking about an exam and I lent him a book the night before. He swotted in one night and got a better mark than me who had slaved over the subject all year!

We kept in touch during holidays and often things he said in his letters would make me try harder to be friendly and more confident when I returned to college. He was popular with everyone and sometimes I think that is because he asked little of others and was always himself and not trying to impress.

I met his family members in due course and you could see why this person was such a special human being. They were really sane people, knowing what really mattered in life.

We managed to stay in touch for almost 10 years after leaving college. The last time I saw him, he invited me and my new boyfriend (now husband) to dinner. We were at different points in our lives with me all loved-up and him facing a relationship breakdown.

I can't remember what happened after that. Who did not telephone? Who did not write? There was no falling out but somehow, suddenly he was missing from my life. I have a letter he wrote to me when I had my first son and I think that was the last contact.

I miss him from time to time. I know I lost a good friend and doubt I will have the same type of friendship with anyone else.

Dreaming of him was hard. Makes me recall trips to Pizza Express, Pizza in the Park, Leicester Square and a litte cafe bar place. Makes me realise friendships should not be neglected. Makes me wish we could do it all over again.

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