Regular visitors will know I love a meme, linky-up, blog hop or whatever the right term might be. There are 2 new ones called Musical Memories and Tracks of my Years so I am going to join in and imagine I will most weeks too. I love music and have really eclectic tastes too. Andrew Lloyd Webber was on telly the other day saying he probably loves music more than any person that he loves. I could empathise with that a little too.
Anyway, the theme for the Musical Memories one this week is New Beginnings.
The first thing that sprang into my mind may appear odd when I tell you the story.
At ten to eleven at night on 3rd September 2009, my mother died after a long scuffle with terminal cancer. I was on holiday at the time. That too will sound odd but I guess I ran away knowing what was coming. Mum had actually told me to go and to come back on 4th September. I am convinced she knew what she was saying and that I would return on 4th September but to comfort my Dad not to see her.
I got a text from my brother telling me to telephone Dad urgently. I remember being quite calm and saying to my husband, "Well, we know what this is then". I telephoned and spoke to the Marie Curie nurse who was fielding telephone calls. Dad came on and told me that Mum had died peacefully. I clung to that final word. It was OK if it was peaceful.
The next thing I did was to light a candle. When my husband asked why I was doing that, I replied that I did not really know but it is what Mum would have done. I guess this was my first act as the new matriarch of the family.
I talked and talked for hours and cannot really remember what about. I think my brother spoke to me by telephone at some point. My little boy only aged 3 at the time was asleep on the sofa and giggled all of a sudden in his sleep. He has not done that before or since in that way and I took it as a great comfort. Somehow Mum was sending a message.
Eventually, I went to bed in the early hours of the morning. I told my husband I wanted to sleep alone and once there, just sobbed and sobbed.
The next day we set off back to my Dad's house. Strange when your Mum and Dad's house stops being called that. We had a long drive back from the Highlands of Scotland. You see when I run away I don't do it by halves.
I asked my husband to park in a local town that had a library. I wanted him to email my oldest friend to give her the news. I seemed to want to tell everyone. Maybe that is a way of making it real.
To shift my thoughts, I put on the radio and this is the first song that came on. My Mum always loved great performers and we shared a love of Freddie Mercury and Queen. Radio Gaga was the song and somehow the lyrics seemed just right. Mum had the strength and the power in her lifetime and perhaps her passing to a better place was her finest hour. When you lose someone, there are many moments where you begin to make sense of it and integrate it into your life. This was a key moment and for me a new beginning, the beginning of my journey through life without my Mum. And yes, Mum, someone still loves you just like in the song.
Pop over and see some other songs that mean different things to different people
Musical Memories – Week 1 – New Beginnings
By mummymatters, on 11th April 2011
Welcome to the very first week of my new linky, Musical Memories. Music has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember, Mum always had music playing at home, UB40, Alexander O’Neil, Queen, Annie Lennox – just a few memories from my childhood. Often when I’m in the car or a shop and I will hear a tune and it will take me back to a moment in my life. Let’s share those moments with each other.
This week’s theme ties in with the start of being all shiny and new – New Beginnings – it could relate to anything you want it to, the birth of a baby, the start of a relationship, a new home . . .
And so to mine!
This was my entrance music as I walked down the aisle to be married to my wonderful Husband, though it was played on the harp! From the moment we began planning our wedding, I was transported back to the film Love Actually when Keira Knightley walked down the aisle after marrying her beau and a choir erupted into All You Need Is Love, accompanied by musicians in the congregation. I loved it but sadly my guests were not musicians so I knew we wouldn’t be able to scrape together a band, or a singer for that matter!
The only sad part to this memory is that, actually, I couldn’t tell you what it sounded like on the harp. I couldn’t tell you what any of it sounded like on the harp because I was so caught up in the emotion of the day and the sight of my Husband to be that all other senses were shut off. I’m told it sounded great but it doesn’t matter because that song will always remind me of one of the happiest days of my life!
Over to you . . .